Monday, January 4, 2010

Let's get it started!

Little known facts about tonight’s Bachelor:

1) Trend alert! Vapid is the new desperate!

2) Scratch that, insincerity is the new desperate.

3) Ali was voted “Cuter than a Button” in High School.

4) Motorcycles have been outlawed in several countries because the aphrodisiac nature of them caused many a steamy panic.

5) America currently leads the world numbers in the over-privileged, under-educated, “Daddy’s Girl” population.

6) Gia is actually Colista Flockhart’s twin. She appeared on the show after losing a bet with Harrison Ford.

7) If it looks like a gremlin, acts like a gremlin, or speaks like a gremlin, don’t let it near the pool.

8) Michelle isn’t actually crazy. She’s crazy for feelin’ so lonely and the meds aren’t helping.

9) All the girls were given a copy “Worst First Lines Ever” with the application paperwork and were asked to memorize at least three. Most thought it was a test.

10) Valisha’s Texas dirt was actually potting soil from the San Bernardino Home Depot.

11) Cooking bare-chested may seem sexy but please be advised of the hazards and consequences that may accompany your morning eggs.

Me likey: Ali and Ella

Me no likey: Rozlyn, Vienna, and Christina.

Quote of the night: "It's competition, I get it. But, there are some girls that have their tah-tahs out to pa-lay! Huge boobs. And I'm probably jealous. Baby boobs. But they're just kind of , like, rubbing me the wrong way, already." -Christina

Let the games begin!


  1. i am hoping I can get it on Hulu during nap time today. we will see.

  2. I am watching it this season just bc of your blog from last season.

  3. I am also watching it just for you!!! I was anxiously awaiting your comments because there were a few interesting girls that made the cut...I will have to look up their names and let you know!

  4. It is Jessie that I didn't like. She just looked funny.

  5. ha ha you put it into words so well, I love it. Ali is my fav so far.

  6. Thanks to Hulu, I can join in:

    1. Nice Body
    2. Looks good in Uniform

    oops are we supposed to be dogging on the girls....I'll see if I can take my eyes off of him.

  7. That last comment is me, Kris :)

  8. Worst line, "Do you have a registry for these guns" Or could it be, Ooops I tripped

    Worst Dress: Katherine's Purple Tinkerbell Dress.

    Gia one word : UGH

    Vienna: Go home and kiss your dog

    Question of the night: How can you afford a breast enhancement on a teacher's salary when you can't afford clothes? Did her mom send her those too?

    Okay did not like how Jake did not hide the fact that he checked each one of their butts out, call me old fashioned.

    Tears: Too Desperate

    Christina: You pulled his leg muscle, you aren't as little as you think you are

    What is a fit model?


  9. Here is my opinion:

    Oh no, I think Michelle really is crazy! Hehehehe!!! I can't believe he kept her.
    Gia is there because of the boobs.
    Vienna is there because of... well I'm not quite sure why.
    Christina is an odd duck and she's there because she's, as she calls it, a "guys girl."

    I'm not sure if I have formed an opinion of Tenley yet.

    My faves: Ali and Katherine (in spite of her purple Tinkerbelle dress).

    And woohweeh, I am excited about all the scandals accompanying this season!

  10. I didn't know if I even want to get into this this year....but now.....I'm intrigued. (that and my husband is gone for 3.5 days and I'm BORD)

  11. Just watched the 1st episode and I've been trying to figure it out for a while and finally got it! If you squish a barbie dolls face in by pushing her nose with your thumb it totally looks like Vienna's face. Just b/c your daddy has money doesn't mean your pretty. Just say'n.

    I think Michelle is crazy too and I think he kept her b/c he's scared that if he gave her the boot she'd sneak into his room and stab him with an ice pick.

    Oh, and I'm sorry but I've got to disagree I LOVE the cute purple Tinkerbell dress. I guess I've always been a sucker for tutus. :)

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