Sunday, May 31, 2009

I just can't help myself...

I am at a loss. I find myself handicapped by the lack of pregnancy hormones coursing through my body. Turns out, I think that with pregnancy comes a certain amount of cynicism which comes in handy when blogging. I have been reviewing Bachelorette footage via TiVo and am about to share my observations. Forgive me if they are not what they used to be. Ah-hem…

Episode I:

My first observation is, of course, dealing with the names of a few of the Bachelors up for the picking this season. Oh dear. Having an unusual name myself (I guess not so unusual if you are a BOY. Moving to the west in my teenage years enlightened me as to the existence of my male counterparts) I now make a desperate plea to all mothers naming their children. Please. Think of the future. That is all I ask. My top offenders are:

Kiptyn: Really? While he’s a great guy, or seems to be (for what that’s worth, do you remember when you thought that Jason was a great guy too?), I can’t get past the name. Also, perhaps it’s my T.V., but do his eyes look red to anyone else?

Sasha: I thought that this was a girl name…? Feel free to enlighten me if I am wrong. After all, I thought Brooks was a girl name, too.

And on we go…

Episode II:

Dear Brian,

Stripping to your nudies and jumping into a cold pool is never what a girl wants to see the first week she knows you. I would hazard a guess that no girl wants to see that, really, ever. The male body is not built for beauty. Better luck next time.

Dear Jillian,

Please get rid of Tanner P. soon. A man with a foot fetish is never a good thing. Plus he resembles a squirrel, slightly…

So far, my favorite pick for the season has to be commercial pilot, Jake. He’s adorable.

I think that Juan is fortunate in the looks department, though I am still thoroughly unconvinced that he is straight. He seems to notice too much to be a regular chap. Not a great pick for a woman scorned and on the prowl.

That is about it. Or, rather, my baby is crying.

P.S. Does David look to anyone else like “The Rock”, Dwayne Johnson? It’s uncanny. And a little creepy.

6 comments:

  1. lol brooks, you make me laugh! -H

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  2. I love reading you commentary on all your shows!!

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  3. I couldn't stop laughing all the way through this... I was laughing so hard I had to share some of this with your mom. Great observations, and now I feel like I don't have to catch up with everything on ABC.com. So, from the bottom of my heart, thanks for the laughs and the commentary. You made my day and saved me from myself. :)

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  4. You make me want to watch it so I can know what and who you are talking about! I love it. You should write a book...I would buy it :) can't wait till next week. when is the show by the way?

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  5. I was laughing so hard reading this plus I have had some of the same thoughts!! I agree Kipton is a weird name and my pick so far is also Jake. But "The Rock" look alike I didn't see until now, freakin' hilarious.

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  6. Your blog always makes me laugh, and I don't even watch the show (not for lack of trying).

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