Monday, May 30, 2011

Jack Handey and the power to woo.

More than eight years ago, my affections were won by a sweet, humble, good, caring, kind, *handsome*, wonderful, funny, too-good-to-possibly-be-true, man. Exactly eight years ago, I married him.

I have nothing but dumb luck to thank for the decision I made that day. Well, that, and Jack Handey, who played a significant role in our courtship.

" To me, it's a good idea to always carry around two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" you can say,
"Sorry, got these sacks.""
-Jack Handey

"Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself. Mankind. Basically, it's made up of two separate words-- "mank" and "ind." What do these words mean?
It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind."
-Jack Handey

"If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror,
because I bet that's what really throws you into a panic."
-Jack Handey

"Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine,
which I guess was why several of us died of tuberculosis."
-Jack Handey

"I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like, "Hey, when are you going to pay me that hundred dollars you owe me?" or "Do you have that fifty dollars you borrowed?"
Man, quit being so cheap!"
-Jack Handey

"Love is not something that you can put chains on and throw into a lake. That's called Houdini. Love is liking someone a lot."
-Jack Handey

Happy 8th Anniversary, Baby.
Every day I am grateful for the mystery that is a boy like you and a girl like me.


  1. Ha ha, I love Jack Handey! Happy Anniversary!

  2. Hey, Brooks, remember that one time that I stopped blogging and you kept going? And I forgot to check my blog roll? Yeah. Brain farts.

    Anyway, Happy Anniversary (slightly belated)! Jack Handey is awesome! I once made up a Jack-Handey-esque quote that my family thought was hilarious, so my sister made me quote it for some friends at college, and...they didn't think it was funny. I was quite embarrassed.